[18:00] Missing rev, Marcy, and Kath. [18:00] I'll give them 2 minutes, then we'll get going. :) [18:00] :( [18:00] *** B|NoAqui is now known as LJHL_Wilk [18:00] * L1WL_Serrold revs up his music for the evening. [18:00] back :) [18:01] welcome back ^_^ [18:02] *** Avi (~avi-on-kd@1c2d962f.1da97c9.ipt.aol.com) has joined #uss- coronado [18:02] danke :) [18:02] OK, I think we'll proceed. :) [18:02] *** Jester is now known as FCCO_LoraKor [18:02] *** Kari is now known as LTIO_Ma`Aru [18:02] Any time you're ready, Exec. :) [18:03] *** Sonya is now known as CREN_Oswald [18:03] ::attn-- yawn:: [18:03] ::nudges Daren:: [18:03] LCARS, let's hook up the horses to the wagon and ride [18:03] * CoroLCARS =/\= CRXO_Daren has called: ATTENTION ON DECK =/\= [18:03] *** CoroLCARS changes topic to '=/\= U.S.S. Coronado, NCC-97901... http://www.jestertrek.com/coro2400/ =/\= Sim in progress! =-= Two-time winner of UCIP's Bergen Award for excellence in simming!' [18:03] *** CoroLCARS sets mode: +m [18:03] ::attn:: [18:03] ::attn:: [18:03] ::attn:: [18:03] ::attn:: [18:03] ::attn:: [18:03] ::attn:: [18:03] ::attention:: [18:04] ::attn:: [18:04] He must have been busy dusting. ;) ::attn:: [18:04] * L1WL_Serrold pops sharply to attention. [18:04] ::attn:: [18:04] Our favorite stud. ;) Evening, everyone. :) [18:04] *** CROP_Tlaloco (tlaloco@e8a4d95.3a1d2920.east.verizon.net) has joined #uss-coronado [18:04] *** CoroLCARS sets mode: +o CROP_Tlaloco [18:04] we studs type slower then the rest of you ;) [18:04] That's true!! [18:05] Tonight, as all of you know, is April Fool's Day. Here on Coro, we have a little tradition that the sim closest to every April Fool's Day is a bit less serious than the typical Coro sim. ;) [18:05] muscles getting in your way daren? [18:05] Shhhh. #uss-coronado-ooc ;) [18:05] For those of you who haven't been aboard Coro for a year yet, feel free to play your character just a bit... off. ;) Normal rules of Coronado continuity don't exactly apply to the April Fool's Day sim. You'll see what I mean when we get rolling. [18:06] Feel free to have fun with it. ;) [18:06] Here's tonight's briefing... [18:06] =Sim Briefing!= Please type "ack" after you've read it... [18:06] Stardate 240204.01: "A Night at the (Space) Opera", by Jester. [18:06] SUMMARY: A little silly fun was definitely called for. [18:06] The Second Battle for Pitstop 3 has been won. Though a costly victory for the allies, for the second time, the Pfhor have been driven back from the Pitstop system though both times they attacked the Apori in great numbers. Throughout the allied systems, Starfleet, Reorsan, and Camelynian personnel are celebrating our victory over the Hegemony. [18:06] In the Pitstop system itself, RAdm. Todd Marshall, the ranking officer in the system, had invited anyone interested to U.S.S. Vanguard for a showing of old-time Earth science fiction movies. Unfortunately, the gathering was interrupted barely 15 minutes into "It Came From Outer Space!" when Lt. Colonel Thomas Wayne's Raptors warped into the system. [18:06] The Raptors were configured as Liberators, and there's only one thing you can do with this configuration: capture enemy ships. The news that a severely disabled Pfhor warship had made it only four light-years from Pitstop before being stranded following the battle didn't take long to spread, and movie night has been postponed for a boarding action... [18:06] Briefing complete. [18:06] ack [18:06] * L1WL_Serrold acknowledges with a crisp salute. [18:06] ack [18:06] ack [18:07] ack [18:07] ack [18:07] ack [18:07] ackety ack! [18:07] ack [18:07] ack [18:07] ack [18:07] ack [18:07] ack, phone [18:07] brb... [18:07] ack [18:08] Coro is currently on an intercept course for the disabled Pfhor warship, about 10 minutes out. Ships with us are USS Vanguard and USS MacArthur, along with the Raptors. Coro is providing slipstream escort. [18:08] *** ObsKahlia (~never@36391f10.1916f0b2.clear.net.nz) has joined #uss- coronado [18:08] damn phone.. never fails to ring, seven o'clock on monday... sorry -_- [18:08] Any questions before we begin? :) [18:08] Lovely. :) Tonight's sim is brought to you by... Ovaltine! Helping kids grow strong! Tastes great! Nothing is more chocolaty than Ovaltine! ;) [18:08] =.\= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= SIM START =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= =.\= [18:08] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:09] ::Savant is in fact sitting down at the back of the bridge in an unoccupied chair [18:09] ::stands at the back of the bridge, a phaser rifle strapped to his back:: [18:09] E>::is in her office, concentrating on a padd:: [18:09] =.\ction= Coronado, Vanguard, and MacArthur close the gap with the crippled Pfhor warship. Below decks, the Marines get ready for boarding and the Marine fighter pilots suit up to provide cover for the action. Just because the warship is out doesn't mean its strike craft are. [18:09] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:09] E> ::walk to his station and look around a little:: [18:09] ::paces around the ops station:: [18:09] ::sits at the helm, tapping on her console quietly.:: [18:10] ::in the recent days, most people who worked with Sieven Drexler thought they had seen him become increasingly like his old self, focused and in good health, in contrast to his apparently fatigue before. All of that could be thrown out the tube now.:: [18:10] ::Savant looks over at Bentall and comments:: Too bad about the movie, isn't it, Sir? [18:10] * L1WL_Serrold shouts orders to his squadron up in the Upper Launch Bay. [18:10] E> ::enters engineering:: [18:10] ::watches the clock tick over from 5:01 to 5:00 on the countdown:: All decks, general quarters... battle stations. [18:10] =.\ction= The automatic klaxon sounds as Coronado's alert status changes to red . [18:10] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:10] Yeah... I was really looking forward to it. ::shurgs:: But what ya gonna do? [18:10] ::watches the turbolift doors open on the bridge and starts to step out but gets caught in the doorway:: Eh! I'm so beefcake, I can't even get through the door... ::mudges the doors opens a bit more and gets through:: [18:10] MB> ::suits up getting ready for combat, strapping on his heavy rifle and all other assortment of nasty things:: [18:11] ULB> Move it, people! We're less than five minutes out! You don't want me calling down Cap'n Prescot, do ya'? [18:11] ::she cocked an eyebrow:: You mean it's dover? I thought it had just started, and was commenting on the quality. [18:11] ::walks to the center of the bridge and stands hovering near the XO seat:: [18:11] E> ::see Farley enter;: Hey, how are you? [18:11] M> ::sits in his office, reviewing some data, trying to remember what had happened to him:: [18:11] ::glances at Daren:: Commander, contact Engineering and have Commander Oswald stand by a technical crew to follow the Marines in. I want that ship secured as soon as possible. [18:11] E> ::heads to the office:: Hello, maam [18:11] ::grumbles:: to engage new lifeforms and new civilizations... [18:11] E>:;nods to Farley:: [18:11] E> Good Sky. How are you? [18:11] ::grins over at Tlaloco:: [18:11] E> not bad. ::walk to him and the CEO:: [18:11] ::Sieven walks onto the bridge wearing a flowing white El-Aurian robe, with the flat-top nimbus hat as well, full typical El-Aurian clothing, very cultist looking. Apparently he wasn't all that healthy. he doesn't seem to notice and quietly walks over to tactical as he normally does, oblivious to his apparel.:: [18:11] ::glances at the various displays on her console:: [18:12] ::nods:: Right on, Sir! +taps+ Bridge to Engineering.... [18:12] * Savant rests her hands on her lap and observes blithely, sensors working away on the ship:: [18:12] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:12] ::looks at Lora Kor:: Don't cha worry Cap'n. We can take these Phfor, we can take em with Science! [18:12] E>+taps+ Engineering here... but we didn't do it... [18:12] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:12] ::from under the huge hat:: Reporting battlestations, captain. [18:12] E> Did you see my warp core modifications I made to Kelka? [18:12] MB> ::checks his M2-43 making sure its in good order... barking out orders to men in a rather harsh tone:: what is your major malfunction dirtbag!! get your arse ready for combat! [18:12] take them with science? Personally, i prefer a nice big phaser cannon... [18:13] ::Savant exhales and bobs up into the air, floating out of her seat:: [18:13] ::not the least self-conscious in his loincloth:: [18:13] ::looks back to Savant:: Yah. That'd do the trick too I'm sure. [18:13] ULB> +taps+ Serrold to bridge - Marine Ops or Intel, I need what you got piped down here to the fighters. [18:13] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:13] ::nods at Drexler, not noticing his outfit:: Very well. Load port and starboard tubes, false matter torpedoes but do not fire except on my orders. [18:13] +taps+ Commander, I'd like you to gather an grouping of your finest engineering officers to follow those big-bad ass marines once they secure the ship. [18:13] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:13] We're here to capture that ship, not kill it. [18:13] perhaps. Great stress release, though [18:13] =.\ction= In the background, a suitable ominous music begins playing. It's not even noticable. [18:13] ::sits down at the XO seat and reaches behind the chair and finds a hidden bag of CHEESEY POOFS:: [18:13] will it co-operate? [18:14] E>+taps+ what ship sir? I don't see any ship? [18:14] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:14] MB> ::walks up and down his troops with a scowl on his face:: god... has a HARDON for marines... because we kill... EVERYTHING we see!! [18:14] MB> you get me maggots? [18:14] ::taps on her console, watching the little ball float across and hit her paddle.:: Hah! Foiled you again computer... [18:14] ::begins munching and looks around:: eoh, I'm sorry...how rude. ::motions to bag to Lora Kor:: Cheesey Poof? [18:14] MB> ::listens to the lovely chime of:: WE GET YOU SIR!!! [18:15] ::Savant puts her hands on her hips and scolds Daren:: I hardly think that now is the time, Sir. [18:15] +taps+ The ship we're about to come across in space, Engineering geez. [18:15] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:15] ::hears Serrold, presses a few buttons:: +taps+ You will receive whatever I get right after I have it, Leuitenant [18:15] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:15] ULB> ::makes his way to his fighter, still shouting orders:: What are you apes standing around for? [18:15] E>+taps+ Hey! don't blame us... you guys never tell us anything! [18:15] =.\ction= Ship's condition is currently: Red Alert . [18:15] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:15] ::glances at the bag of cheesey poofs:: I hope you got those from the ship store Commander. You know what I always say. Shop smart, shop Coromart! [18:15] ULB> ::hops into his fighter:: +taps+ Thanks, Hot Lips. [18:15] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:15] ::glances around:: What the hell is wrong with all of you? [18:16] I didn't even realise there *was* a "coromart" [18:16] Nothing a matter with me Mr. Drexler, what a matter with you? [18:16] ::accepts a cheesy poof as if it were the most natural thing in the world:: Lieutenant Wilk, ETA? [18:16] ::scans the ship's internal systems:: nothing out of the ordinary. [18:16] M> +TAPS+ Thompson to the bridge, any survivors on the phfor ship? [18:16] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:16] *** Archyyt (AA@1e624c7d.bbb3ba1.o1.com) has joined #uss-coronado [18:16] MB> ::nods:: good!!! now get to the assault transporters!!! ::marches out and down towards the transporters company in tow:: [18:16] ULB> +taps+ Say, when I'm done with escort duty, Ma'Aru, wanna come back to my quarters and show me some more rules to your game? [18:16] *** Archyyt is now known as Lord_AA_Obs [18:16] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:17] =.\ction= "Meow", a small pink kitty cat jumps on Daren and his bag of Cheesey Poofs and really seems to want some... [18:17] ::looks over at Lora Kor.:: Oh, right... ::minimizes her game of pong.:: Uhh.. We'll get there when we get there sir. [18:17] ... nothing is wrong with me. What the hell is going on? [18:17] No Kitty, these are my Cheeesey Poofs... [18:17] E>::looks at Farley and Sky:: you ready to go get us a ship? [18:17] Don't! don't you know that Cheesey poofs are death to pink pussy cats? [18:17] ::grins:: +taps+ We'd have to come up with a whole new rule book just for you, flyboy [18:17] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:17] E> ::hears what Oswald says:: Oh, grow up, Commander! [18:17] *** LCTC_Drexler is now known as ObsBrad [18:18] ::chuckles and leans back, observing, :: It's just like a zoo [18:18] M> ::kicks his feet up, in his office, waiting for the bridge to respond:: [18:18] E> you bet maam! [18:18] E> ::nods:: When ever you want ma'am. ::still wich to the day he'll get command even if it's for a hour or so [18:18] ::pushes Kitty away:: Go back to the alley you came from now....mwaaa [18:18] * L1WL_Serrold grins and turns a key on the underside of his flight yoke column. The fighter sounds like an old jalopy trying to start up. [18:18] Nothing is going on Mr. Drexler. You sure you're ok? [18:18] =.\ction= Vanguard prepares to drop to impulse. Communications opens, and Rear Admiral Marshall's voice is louder than it strictly needs to be. [18:18] =.\ction= [18:18] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:18] Vanguard> +com+ Here weeeee come toooooo wreck your daaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy! [18:18] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:19] ULB> +taps+ Why, Lieutenant Ma'Aru, was that an invitation to get naked? [18:19] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:19] ::glances at the tank:: What is he on? [18:19] Lieutenant Wilk, drop to impulse! [18:19] Lieutenant Wilk, what he said...yeah [18:19] geez! now we know why he is a rear admiral. He's a real pain in the a**. [18:19] *> ::enters into the assault transportersget:: get on the pad solider!! [18:19] *** Sonya_ (zunite@1c3781d3.1f49225e.reshalls.umn.edu) has joined #uss- coronado [18:19] *** CoroLCARS sets mode: +v Sonya_ [18:19] Alright everyone, get the gum out of your ears and listen up! The admiral has something to say. [18:19] ::to Tlaloco:: hey, that's *my* line! [18:19] *** CREN_Oswald (zunite@1c3781d3.1f49225e.reshalls.umn.edu) Quit (Connection reset by peer) [18:19] +taps+ Bacon? Why on earth would you want to have bacon? [18:19] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:19] *** Sonya_ is now known as CREN_Oswald [18:19] Aye sir! ::pops the clutch, and, many grinding noises being heard in the engine room, finally slows the ship to impulse.:: [18:20] =.\ction= Coronado's engines disengage, and the frigate drops to impulse power. [18:20] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:20] =.\ction= Coronado, Vanguard, and MacArthur drop to impulse, escorted by the Raptors. The Raptors immediately accelerate, moving in. [18:20] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:20] ULB> ::turns the key and smiles slightly as the fighter roars to life:: +taps+ I got your bacon right here, baby! [18:20] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:20] =.\ction= Ship's condition is currently: Red Alert . [18:20] sorry for stepping on your line, sav. Maybe there is some way I can make it up to you. [18:20] =Description= The Pfhor destroyer looks dark and ominous, with flickers and flashes of blue-gold lightning along its hull. It is tumbling slowly in space, looking almost more dangerous disabled than active. [18:20] *** L1WL_Serrold is now known as [L1WL_Serrold] [18:21] M> ::heads out of sickbay, finding someone in his stead, and walks to the turbolift:: [18:21] <[L1WL_Serrold]> TB1> +taps+ Gimme launch clearance, Bridge. [18:21] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:21] *** Lord_AA_Obs is now known as AAIdle [18:21] *** AAIdle (AA@1e624c7d.bbb3ba1.o1.com) has left #uss-coronado (I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.) [18:21] ::turns to Ma'aru:: Make the ship show up on that flashy thing ::points to the Holotank:: [18:21] oh, is that a pass? [18:21] sir the sensors are showing that the destroyer is in dark and ominous mode. [18:21] =.\ction= The background music changes to an uptempo rock ballad (done by Queen, obviously) as the Pfhor ship begins launching strike craft. [18:21] Dark and ominous mode? What sort of mode is that Commander? [18:21] Gah. I hate that mode. Stand by to launch assault! ::stands up and strikes a heroic pose:: [18:21] E>::marches her engineers up to the transporter room:: [18:21] Oh look, its giving birth... [18:21] ::nods to Daren and picks up a PADD, showing a picture of the ship, and walks towards the tank:: [18:22] E> ::grabs his bag of goodies:: [18:22] OOh, special effects! [18:22] TL> Main Bridge [18:22] <[L1WL_Serrold]> TB1> +taps+ Bridge? Hellooooo? [18:22] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:22] E> ::follow farley:: [18:22] ::Savant chortles:: Do you suppose Lora's got a stick up his butt, or maybesomeone put some prune juice in his guiness? [18:22] =Description= Sure enough, there are indeed special effects. One of the Pfhor strike craft whizzes (yes, whizzes) too close to Coro. It is clearly hanging from a string and made from cardboard but the weapon hits are real enough. [18:22] +taps+ This is the bridge. Can I take your order? [18:22] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:23] ::holds the PADD in front of the tank:: Like this? [18:23] wow! they must have spent hours making that model! [18:23] Its so detailed! [18:23] Anyone have a big pair of scissors? I think we can cut that down to size. Or perhaps a chainsaw? [18:23] Mwaa, look's so fake... [18:23] sir, reqest permission to suspend disbelief. [18:23] TL> ::pulls out a gadget out of the bag:: Sky I have a few new tools for you to use. [18:23] <[L1WL_Serrold]> TB1> +taps+ Yes, I'd like a large order of SHUT THE HELL UP, DAREN! With a nice piece of ass on the side. [18:23] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:23] *> ::looks around as his men seeing that they are were are they supposed to be:: +taps+ Prescot to Bridge... sir we are locked loaded and ready kill!! ::looks over seeing one of his men screwing around and goes over and socks him in the gut:: do you have a problem Private?? [18:23] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:23] =.\ction= Vanguard begins launching fighters. There is soon quite the little scuffle going on outside. [18:23] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:24] ::glances at the PADD and turns it around, the image now right-side up:: [18:24] <[L1WL_Serrold]> TB1> +taps+ Now, let me get out there and kill something! Please! [18:24] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:24] it's like watching mating insects, but faker [18:24] Oooh, pretty flashes. ::watches the SFX guys flash strobe lights on and off.:: [18:24] *> ::glares as the private stands back up and goes back to attn:: good!! [18:24] TL> ::look at Farley:: Tools?% [18:24] =.\ction= Marshall appears in Coro's holographic tank, looking a bit fuzzy and indistinct. He's wearing a leather bomber jacket, a leather headpiece and a scarf. [18:24] ::watches the battle:: Ooooooh that's gotta hurt. [18:24] ::I love the way things explode in the vaccuum of space. [18:24] Marshall> +com+ Coro, MacArthur, go hurt 'em! We'll cover you! [18:24] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:25] +taps+ Listen Kenny, euh I mean Serrold, Screw you Jealous weakling... [18:25] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:25] *** AuObs (~megs-wash@12daef3.1da97c9.ec7593a.3f38bee0X) has joined #uss-coronado [18:25] Who stole MArshall and replaced him with Emilia Eirheart? [18:25] ::enters the bridge, and walks over to Daren:: [18:25] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:25] =.\ction= Ship's condition is currently: Red Alert . [18:25] ::looks up at the viewscreen:: Hurt you? Cover them? What? [18:25] *** [L1WL_Serrold] is now known as L1WL_Serrold [18:25] What's up Doc? ::said to the newly arrived Thompson:: [18:25] ah Doctor, I've been meaning to ask you...about my Weight Gainer 4000 [18:26] ::grins at Wilk:: Ignore him. Just get in close and prepare to transport our Marines. [18:26] I'm so BeefCake [18:26] TL> ::gives him a tool that looks like an multiuse tool:: Here take this, now with this tool you can do everything but eat with it. [18:26] *> +taps+ Hey Bridge.... what's going on up there!?!?! are we ever gonna get to where we're going? [18:26] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:26] ULB> ::hops out of his fighter and strides across the Upper Launch Bay, tossing down his helmet and grabbing his leather flight jacket, PPP, and saber on the way to the TL:: [18:26] ::walks back to her station and falls into her chair, spinning around a few times in the process:: [18:26] I didn't even knwo they realized where they were going at all [18:26] Ok. ::taps on her console and nudges Coro forward like a 15 year old student driver.:: [18:26] TL> ::enters the TL:: Bridge! [18:26] +taps+ Keep it down Oswald. You're being to loud. [18:26] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:26] Weight gainer 4000? Are you looking to create an ass- groove in your chair, sir? [18:27] TL> And if you ever lose it you can call it with your communicator! [18:27] Less clutch, more gas, Wilk. Exec, tell the Marines to stand by to kick some Pfhor butt! [18:27] +taps+ Bridge to Ironside, are the guys with the guns ready or what? [18:27] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:27] *>+taps+::in same voice:: Keep it down dead guy... you're being too bossy... [18:27] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:27] Captain, do the Pfhor even *have* butts? [18:27] TL> ::take it:: cool [18:27] TL> Plus you can set it for self destruct. [18:27] sir, begging your pardon, but the butt is aft. [18:27] TL> Why for? [18:27] *> ::grumbles something about the wave and catches one of this sgts staring at him:: you eyeballin be boy?? ::watchings as the sgt turns quickly away:: [18:27] ::grins slyly from Savant to Tlaloco:: Whatever you guys say. Let's go kick some Pfhor... aft. [18:27] ::glares at Daren:: There's only one guy with a gun and that's me. [18:27] TL> ::emerges onto the bridge and strides towards Daren:: Commander Daren! I challenge you, sir, to a duel. [18:28] *>+taps+ Oswald to the Bridge... hey guys pretty soon we're gonna beam ourself over and take over the ship... marines or no marines... [18:28] That reminds me, I had this dream that aliens abducted me...but they didn't give an anal probe or anything [18:28] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:28] *** AuObs (~megs-wash@12daef3.1da97c9.ec7593a.3f38bee0X) has left #uss- coronado [18:28] ::she chuckled a little and muttered: Isn't that cute, he can pun [18:28] ::slides closer and closer, bouncing off the Pfhor ship.:: Oops, sorry ... Should I give them our insurance information? [18:28] that was no dream, that was the office party last week. [18:28] +taps+ Hail to the king baby! [18:28] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:28] =.\ction= More of the cardboard fighters go by -- it's clear that Vanguard's fighters are clearing the way for Coro and MacArthur. [18:28] ::steps back and looks at Serrold:: I'm a beefcake, not a fighter [18:29] They really did a sloppy job then. There is no better way to get good readings. Which reminds me, sir. You're due for an examination. [18:29] well, it's no wonder we're winning, we're fighting cardboard cutouts and laser pointers! [18:29] ::draws his false matter saber and activates the energy blade:: You're about to be sliced beefcake. [18:29] *> ::digs around in the bag again and gives Sky a duplicate of the previous tool:: Here's a second one just in case. [18:29] TR> +taps+ Bentall if you don't start behaving I'm gonna send you to your room! [18:29] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:29] Oh bother. ::gets out of Serrold and Daren's way:: +taps+ Bridge to Marines. Prepare for transport! [18:29] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:29] *> ::take the 2nd tool:: ok [18:29] ::finds his bag of Cheesey Poofs again only to see that it's empty:: Alright, who ate my Cheeeesuy! Peeeoooofs! [18:29] *> ::walks around like hes god's gift the Corps:: are you maggots ready dor your tiral by fire?? +taps+ Prescot here sir! we are ready and willing! [18:29] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:29] *> ::looks towards Oswald:: Oh, grow up, Commander!! [18:29] =.\ction= MacArthur gets in close and begins beaming troops over to the Pfhor warship. [18:30] TR>::gives Farley a wedgie:: [18:30] ::holds up the bag:: You mean THESE! [18:30] ::aims his phaser at the pink cat:: [18:30] +taps+ Oh yeah? Come get some! [18:30] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:30] TR> just because I'm cuter doesn't mean you have to be jealous [18:30] *> ::turns back to Sky:: Do try to return this equipment in pristine order! [18:30] ::looks at her watch and counts down:: [18:30] =.\ction= Ship's condition is currently: Red Alert . [18:30] Serrold, I told you...not while I'm working. ::looks:: Muh Cheesey Poofs! [18:30] =.\ction= The scene changes. For some reason that isn't completely clear, everyone is now in a large black open space. Everyone is also wearing versions of red and yellow spandex and carrying... well, they look like phaser rifles... sorta. [18:30] *> ::nods:: Yes Cmdr. [18:30] Challenge me, fiend, if you ever expect to see them again. ::tosses the bag back towards the CIC:: [18:30] TR> you two have the mission.... I have to go show Bental who's boss... [18:30] =.\ction= The music shifts again, and is now back to that dark and brooding thing, although with a weird pan flute background. [18:31] sir, I suggest we beam the cat out into space, where it can bat about those cardboard cutouts. [18:31] TR> ::recieves his wedgy:: OH, GROW UP, Commander!!!!!!!!!! [18:31] WHat the-? [18:31] ::looks around, then looks down at the sorta-phaser- rifle:: This isn't part of my idiom! [18:31] ;:frowns and then goes and and tries hunting a Bentall:: [18:31] ::scraches his head:: what in the hell!! [18:31] ::glad he wore his loincloth:: [18:31] What's with the outfits? [18:31] TR> ::picks his wedgy out:: Paybacks a b****. [18:31] ::eyes Serrold:: Gimme back muh Cheesey Peefs! [18:31] ::shrugs:: Oh well. Thataway! ::points toward the darkest part of the dark chamber:: [18:31] ::blinks and looks at her outfit.:: This is so 10 years ago... [18:31] oh no! we've been sucked into a space-time continuity vortex fold! Or something like that. [18:31] ::Sees Oswald in her tight spandex:: hey.... how you doin.. [18:32] great! there are all sorts of phasic lice in subspace. [18:32] ::looks down at himself:: That WWII recreation paid off. [18:32] Oh, take your damn chips.... ::moves towards Ma'Aru:: Nice tights there, Lieutenant... [18:32] ::looks at Savant:: Oh wah! Go ahead and run, run home and cry to mama [18:32] =.\ction= Things that look a lot like walking skeletons come shambling out of the darkness. They are wearing Hunter uniforms and have the Hunter plasma cannons but a Hunter looks very strange with no skin. [18:32] ::spots Serrold and jumps out of her chair:: Hey, hey, hey...that's mighty big saber you've got there [18:32] ::looks at the phser thing on his belt:: [18:32] ::glares and then slaps him:: [18:32] ::takes the phaser-thing:: Man, this is just like the gun I had in 'Nam [18:32] Damn straight. [18:32] ::chuckles:: They're so cute when they're angry.... [18:33] would you look at the size of those bones! [18:33] =.\ction= The Hunter-Skeletons begin firing plasma bolts into the crowd of red-yellow-spandex good guys. The "beams" are smoky and indistinct, but knock down anyone they touch. [18:33] ::grins:: Too bad it is all false matter [18:33] RADIO: Enemy Spotted. [18:33] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:33] ::pulls up his rifle and aims it at one of the skeleton things:: Buckle up bonehead, cause you're going for a ride. [18:33] ::starts firing randomly at the hunter-skeletons:: [18:33] ::turns her phaser rifle thing over in her hands.:: Which button do I push to shoot it? I'm confused... [18:33] TR> ::goes through the bag and gets himself a few items:: [18:33] ::whistles for his llama:: [18:33] ::Savant throws popcorn at the Hunters:: Booo! get a better costuming department! [18:33] Oh damn! ::pushes Kari down to the ground and stand over her, firing back:: Stay down! Craig Serrold, Defender of the Universe will protect you! [18:33] ::mutters:: if this is the movies... I should have limitless bullets... [18:34] RADIO: Taking Fire Need Assistance!! ::strafe jumps over to the left and starts firing at thier heads splattering them with unatural accuracy:: [18:34] ::sees the plasma balls whiz past him and readies his rifle, aiming phfor the for:: [18:34] ::mutters:: He can't be Defender of the Universe! I'm Defender of the Universe! [18:34] TL> So where will we start. [18:34] no, wait, I'm defender of the universe! [18:34] ::fires his rifle off:: [18:34] ::hops on, and attempts to nit a sweater around the enemy:: [18:34] ::keeps firing at the Hunters [18:34] ::shrugs and fires his rifle a few times:: [18:34] ::watches a plasma ball fly past her head.:: Ooo, pretty... [18:34] or, wait... it's her, right? Aw hell, we're all defenders of the universe [18:34] or, wasn't that He-Man? [18:34] TR> ::looks at Sky:: Have no idea Sky, today that's your department! [18:34] Ow! Captain Kor! Why are you shooting at ME?! [18:34] =.\ction= The Hunter-Skeletons blow up in big smoky puffs when hit. It's strangely satisfying. The music has changed back to the cheesy uptempo guitar. [18:34] ::waddles around like some Comedy Central cartoon character:: [18:34] ::sniffs:: oh sure they all think they're the defenders of the universe... but I know I'm God.. [18:34] TL> Mine? [18:35] Hey, not on the first date! ::falls, landing on two peices of fruit:: Ohh...ok [18:35] Whoops. Sorry! ::has the grace to look embarrassed and adjusts his aim:: [18:35] TR> Yep, all yours. [18:35] ::walks over to zunite and smiles:: isnt that goddess?? [18:35] Jeez Captain, you losing your aim in your old age? [18:35] =.\ction= Ship's condition is currently: Red Alert . [18:35] or is there something you havent been telling me.... [18:35] :: with a sotto voice, Savant narrates:: But in the back of his head, Lora secretly smiled.... [18:35] Who you calling "old", dead guy? ::fires some more:: [18:35] ::glares at Prescot and slaps him across the facee:: [18:35] ::takes aim and fires her phaser rifle, backwards, just barely missing both herself and Savant a few meters behind her.:: [18:35] ::manages to knit a sweater around one of the hunters, and drags him away by slapping the llama's rump:: [18:35] * L1WL_Serrold briefly wonders where the fruit came from, but quickly comes up with some rather creative uses for it. [18:36] Mwaaaa! Take that you wierd bad guys! ::fires:: [18:36] Jees, Wilk! Someone get her a stunt double, quick! [18:36] Why do you keeping calling me dead guy? Dead, Alive, I'm the guy with the gun... ::aims it at Lora Kor:: Come get some! [18:36] ::face stings as he rubs it:: ooo getting rough are we... [18:36] =.\ction= Some Hounds burrow up among the team, looking almost as dead as the Hunters. These at least have skin. It's rotting off as they come boiling out of the floor... wait, why is the floor wood? [18:36] Hey! ::fires off a few shots:: Anyone got any kiwi fruits? [18:36] "we only hurt those we love" huh?? [18:36] ::quickly rubs his socks against the the carpeting, and delivers a fatal electric shock::: [18:36] ::shoots the floor:: and only when we're horny.. [18:36] TL> ::nods:: [18:36] Oh, sorry.. ::turns the phaser around and shoots again.:: [18:36] =.\ction= Marshall goes bounding by, looking far too cheerful. [18:37] ::taps a beat with his boots, firing his rifle:: [18:37] Marshall> Follow me! Messa knows the way! ::bounds directly into a Hound and is bowled over and eaten:: [18:37] now look, that one ate Roopie. [18:37] ::blinks:: That was dramatic... [18:37] ::shoots Marshall for that horrible accent:: [18:37] ::cheers!:: [18:37] ::shoots at the up and comming hounds:: when arent we horny now? [18:37] one down, a dozen to go! [18:37] do we have any chief geologists to sacrifice? [18:37] Oh my god! They killed Toddy! You BASTARDS! ::unloads at the Pfhor:: [18:38] =.\ction= In the back, the alt.jar-jar.die.die.die newsgroup representatives on hand for the occasion begin clapping and cheering wildly. The music amps up a bit for Jar-Jar... er... Marshall's big death scene. [18:38] Who's leading this mission anyways? [18:38] ::shoots Marshall to save him any agony:: [18:38] I am! Craig Serrold, Defender of the Universe! [18:38] where are we? [18:38] Me! I'm Defender of the Universe! ::shoots another Hunter-Skeleton and advances. [18:38] how touching. Can we get on with the movi-er, adventu- er.. what the hell is this, anyways? [18:38] TL> Ok F, have other tool for me? ::smile:: [18:38] You? I got news for you pal. You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and spit, and Jack left town. [18:38] where's Skeletor, then? [18:39] :;spots Bentall, strides over to him and kisses him full in the lips:: [18:39] ::looks over his shoulder at Savant and grins:: Wrong movie. [18:39] oh, sorry. [18:39] You know whut? Muh ass can fart Fire! ::mutters:: Side effect of most alien anal probes... [18:39] ::stands, glancing around:: (q) Skeletor comes out of flippen nowhere... [18:39] ::smiles:: Yeah that's right.... ::between kisses:: Gimme some sugar, baby... [18:39] =.\ction= The Starfleet Defenders of the Universe advance into a somewhat murkily lit corridor. It looks like a cheap knock-off of a Borg Collective set. [18:39] ::turns to Ma'Aru:: Hey, I'm kindda tired of this whole shotting things gig. Wanna go back to my place and get it on? [18:39] Hey, that one there is pretty cute, for a skeleton. [18:39] ::bends over and starts fart flames 20 feet long:: [18:39] ::slaps Bentall across the face:: [18:40] eeew ::twists away from Oswald and Bentall:: gawd! that wasn't in the warnings! I thought this was PG13! [18:40] Ok then... that's it, ::returns the slap:: [18:40] ::glares at Bentall walking over as well.. kicking him in the nads as oswald pulls away:: [18:40] ::walks along.:: You know, these sets get cheaper every episode.. ::leans against the wall, which promptly falls over, revealing a stage crew eating donuts.:: [18:40] ::shoots a Hunter with his ass-o-fire:: Get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some PIE! [18:40] yeah yeah yeah... that was cool... [18:40] nah... PG13 only says that I can only flash him if my back is to camera... [18:40] *** ObsHeiwa (heiwa@de6498d.2850d5e8.3155232f.36cd2766X) has left #uss- coronado [18:40] [CoroLCARS SOUND] [18:40] =.\ction= Ship's condition is currently: Red Alert . [18:40] :escorts a shapely phfor to the turbolift: Hey sav, wanna make this a threesome? [18:40] This ain't PG-13. Not invented yet. ::shoots a Hound- Zombie in a tremdnous explosion of blood and gore to prove it:: [18:41] with you and her? Sir, i'm sorry, but she's a five dollar extra in a latex suit, and you're little better [18:41] =.\ction= A woman in a tight-fitting white t-shirt and leather pants with dark shaggy somewhat wet (but in a sexy way) hair and carrying a big gun passes through a cross corridor. [18:41] ::cries:: [18:41] ::falls down clutching his privates, in obvious pain:: What was that for Prescot? You know I don't like being... sucker kicked! [18:41] ::starts to engage in Pfor-play:: [18:41] ::shoots the woman:: [18:41] ::wraps an arm around Karissa's waist and fires his rifle with the free hand:: Die, you Pfhor bastards! [18:41] If this was PG-13 I couldn't say words like: numb-nuts! [18:41] Ripl-- er, anonymous woman> Anybody see a little blonde girl go through here about this hig-- ack! [18:41] TR> ::digs around in the bag again:: Here you go Donb, this looks like a PADD but it's a high powered magnet! just punch in this code and it's on. [18:41] see!? [18:41] well, there goes the whole prime directive thing [18:41] numb-nuts! numb-nuts! numb-nuts! [18:41] probably a few other laws, too [18:41] Mwahahahahahahaha! [18:41] ::snickers:: Yup! Onward! [18:41] onward, to adventure! [18:41] ::looks over at woman passing by:: hello... [18:42] shazaam! [18:42] ::slaps Prescot and fires another shot at the woman again:: [18:42] =.\ction= The woman gets back up. She's clearly dead. It doesn't seem to bother her. She shambles toward Prescot. [18:42] TL> ::look at the TL control then look back at F:: Hum? oh yeah. ::take it:: [18:42]