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     ieutenant Major Shar |
Dedicated to the memory of Frank Chadwick Jr. 1928 to 1995. Shar slept. Uneasy sleep to be sure but he was definitely asleep. Asleep and dreaming.... Or was it remembering? "Come on Shar." said Shar's closest friend on Renegade. Not to mention his flight leader. "You've been saying you'll join me for one of these "movie nights" for weeks now ever since you came aboard." Shar looked at the Lieutenant Major. "I'm aware of that Major but I just don't feel comfortable spending my down time with a superior officer." Lieutenant Major Frank Chadwick sighed. "For the last time, we're off duty, call me Frank." "Frank then. But I still..." "Look Shar if I have too I'll make it an order. We've not had a chance to relax for some time now. Time to have some fun and forget about the Phfor for a while." Frank took a breath. "So are you coming or not?" Shar stood there for a moment knowing deep down that the pink skin was just trying to be friendly. He'd been aboard Renegade for only a few weeks and pretty much kept to himself but Frank had been trying to get him to join his flight in a few social gatherings. He said it would promote better team work. Shar couldn't, try as he might, argue with the logic behind it. Sighing he made his decision. "Alright Frank." Shar muttered something in his sleep as the memory flitted through his mind. He settled and dreamed some more. "Morning Shar, join us for breakfast?" called out Lieutenant Kyle from where he sat in the mess hall. Shar looked over and offered up a quick smile. Smiling was something he was still getting used too not being a natural thing for him to do but it seemed to set the pink skins at ease. He nodded at Kyle then at Frank and sat down at their table alongside some of the other pilots and technicians from his flight. "Good morning Lieutenant, Major." Frank rolled his eyes but didn't comment Shar using his rank. Technically they weren't on duty but would be soon enough. "Ready for a routine patrol Lieutenant?" Shar nodded as he ate. "Ready and willing Major. As always. Typical patrol today?" Frank nodded and continued to eat. "Don't forget we've got that poker match tonight with Bravo Company. We've got to show those ground pounders who's boss hey?" Shar nodded. "We will Major. We always do after all." The dream memory faded and another began. "So I said to the Major that he had a bad haircut and punched him in the face. They busted me down a rank for assaulting a senior officer but it was worth it to see him holding his nose." Frank laughed and lifted his mug of blood wine to take a drink. Shar and Frank had won yet another poker match and had decided to enjoy some wine and swap stories from their past. Shar gave Frank a good natured grin and sipped from his own mug. They had already been at it for a couple of hours and where more then just a touch drunk. Shar found himself enjoying Frank's company more and more as the months went by. He felt that perhaps he could finally allow himself the luxury of a friend. "A good story Frank. I wonder what became of the woman you two were fighting over?" Frank smiled. "Well now, that's an entirely different story all together." Frank's face became more serious. "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question Shar?" Shar shifted uneasily knowing what the question would most likely be. "I consider you to be a good friend Frank so go ahead." "How did you lose your antenna?" Frank asked. Shar sat their for a few moments in silence just looking at Frank as he struggled internally with his emotions. Finally he decided to share the story knowing full well that it would leave him totally open to anything Frank said or did. Frank was the only person to hear the story behind it, the emotions of the aftermath. With that story Frank became the family that Shar had lost. The older brother who didn't care that he was missing an antenna. Frank listened to the story and sat there in stunned silence. "Thank you for trusting me with that Shar. I know it must have been difficult for you. I'll take that to my grave with me." Shar nodded. "I know you well my friend" paused then added with a tight smile, "My brother." The dream and memory faded once more. Time passed in blissful blackness as a single tear rolled down Shar's sleeping face. Another dream began. "Hellcat lead this Hellcat two. You've got to Rommie fighter's on your six. Take evasives!" Shar shouted into his comm set at Frank who had just destroyed a Romulan fighter. "I'm on it Two." came back Franks hurried voice. Shar brought his fighter in line with one of the fighters and destroyed it with ease leaving Frank to take out the other one. An alarm went off on his sensor panel. "Hellcat Flight we have an incoming Klingon Bird of Prey watch out!" Suddenly his fighter shook and lurched badly to port as the Bird of Prey got a lucky shot. The hit was not a killing blow but it crippled his fighter and cause his legs to be squished in an unnatural position breaking them both in the process. "Aaaarrgggghhhh!!" He shouted in pain. His shout made it over the comm system. "Shar!? You Ok?!" came back Frank's worried voice. Shar's mumbled response was all Frank heard as he organized an attack on the Bird of Prey keeping it away from Shar's already crippled fighter. Blackness took Shar. When he awoke he found Frank sitting at his bedside. "You blue skinned, crazy, son of a vole! I thought I'd lost you." Shar looked around. He was in Renegade's sickbay. "What happened?" "We scored a minor victory against the Klingons and Romulans. They almost destroyed your fighter. You were injured." Shar shook his head. "Did everyone make it out alive?" Frank nodded. "From the Hellcats at least. Not sure about the other Flight. Starfleet's seen fit to award you a Purple Heart. I've also put you in for a Citation for Gallantry and rumour has it you're getting a promotion tomorrow." The worried look on Frank's face when he awoke told Shar that he had been in a bad way. Some how having Frank be there when he awoke was of great comfort to him. Yet again this memory faded as Shar slept on. Shar shook his head. "Yes we are in another galaxy but I for one won't miss the milky way. There is nothing there for me. My family is aboard this ship. You don't have any family back home Frank so why are you so upset?" "I honestly don't know Shar. I really don't. I shouldn't be this upset but I am. I guess it's just the principal of the thing. Too many killed in the war with the Klingons and Romulans and now we might as well be. You heard that the XO of the Coronado was killed just before we came over here didn't you?" Shar nodded. He had heard that one. Coronado had a certain reputation about her and being Renegade's sister ship the Renegade crew tended to follow her exploits. Frank sighed and looked out the window. "Well I guess it can't be all that bad. I got my flight mates with me so in a sense I have my family with me. I guess that's the best I can hope for." Shar offered Frank a rare smile. He cared for this pink skin more then he ever thought would be possible but he rarely showed it. "Come on Frank. We have a new galaxy to explore. Not every Marine can say that." Frank smiled and slapped Shar on the back. "True my friend. Very true." The memory, like the others faded. "The Hellcats are to go on patrol between these two points. There's an asteroid field in there and while we don't believe there is a Phfor presence in the area we need to keep on our toes. That asteroid belt is the perfect place for an ambush." Frank explained to his Flight. Moment's later the patrol was ambushed. Shar narrowly avoided getting blown out of space by a Phfor fighter. But his flight ability was severely compromised. "I've just lost have my power Lead!" he shouted into the comm system." "Get clear Shar. Go for the fleet and get help. We'll hold them off!" "But...." began Shar. "No buts Marine. Get clear." shouted back Frank. "Yes Maj...." He didn't get a chance to finish that sentance as his fighter was rocked with weapons fire. Shar blacked out. When he came too he was told what happened. He was the only survivor of the ambush. Frank's last act was to run interference around Shar's crippled fighter until the fleet showed up. Frank died after he went on a suicide run that had resulted in damage to a Phfor fighter. Shar was stunned. The only person he ruly cared for on Renegade was now gone. He'd never see Frank again. After the memorial an urn of Frank's ashes where given to Shar with a simple note that said Shar would know what to do. Shar knew but he couldn't deal with the loss and went on three months of leave. When he returned to active duty he couldn't stop thinking about Frank. He requested a transfer to Coronado. He tried to start over but would have these dreams nightly. Something was different this time round. Shar sat up fast in his bed and looked around in his darkened room. The dreams never ended with him remembering the aftermath of the ambush. He felt he was ready. Getting out of bed he went to his closet and pulled out a small box. Opening the box he withdrew the urn from it and set it on the table. He dressed quickly and then picked up the urn and made his way to the holodeck. Pausing outside he looked at the urn and then began running through a list of programs on control console. "Computer, setup a new program. Setting about two and a half kilometers down the Lightning Lakes trail in Manning Provincial Park, located in southern British Columbia of the Earth country of Canada." "Program complete. You may enter when ready." Shar entered the holodeck and looked over the edge of a deep chasm. Frank had loved this particular view in this park. Frank had shared many of his camping stories with him and he always came back to Manning Park and this particular trail. He had told Shar that if he should ever be killed that he wanted his ashes thrown into this chasm. Shar stood their a moment longer. "Well Frank. I can't do this for real with us being stuck in M64, but I'm sure you'll understand." Opening the urn he up ended it over the chasm and watched as the wind carried the ash down into it. Not knowing what else to say but accepting that Frank was always and forever in his heart, he used a simple human expression. "God Speed and goodbye Frank. My brother." Without another word he turned and left the holodeck. He left it running. (OOC: Hi all. This log is the final step in a process I began shortly after the new year. Nearly eight years ago my grandfather passed way after a year long battle with lung cancer. As many of you know I have a rather intense hatred of that disease and anything that is a known cause of it. (Smoking for example.) My grandfather was my first close relative to pass away. In the eight years since I've not lost another one which is a good thing as I could not accept this loss. Not accepting his loss has caused me an extreme amount of emotional distress, including two failed attempts at suicide in 1996. In my mind I have finally accepted that he is gone. I finally feel that I can move on and stop living the loop that my life has become. I felt I needed to do something to symbolize this acceptance in a physical way. This log is that physical way. I consider all of you to be my friends. Some closer then others but I wanted to share this with people I trust. You're it. Thanks. Daniel "Alffred" Chadwick") |